


In the Mourning

by deadrevolution (deadphool)



Category: Revolution (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24178006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadphool/pseuds/deadrevolution
Summary: Charlie reflects on the public execution.
Relationships: Charlie Matheson/Bass Monroe
Kudos: 10





	In the Mourning

Tears fell silently down her cheeks as she left Miles alone to grieve in his own way. It had been awhile since she had cried, and it wasn't normal. She hadn't let anyone know of the connection she felt toward Bass, so she needed to hide her sorrow especially from Rachel. It was okay to be sad, but not to this extent. Not Charlie crying for Bass when she barely shed any tears for Nora. But in the tower, she was feeling bitter as well and there was no time to grieve then. Now though, the man executed had become more than just 'Monroe'.

Those tears continued to fall as she walked through the night with one destination in mind: the shed he stayed in. She needed closure she didn’t get because he was captured, he asked for Miles and no one else was allowed to visit. She wasn’t hurt by it, after all he wasn’t wise to her feelings and it’d be selfish to be jealous. It was always Bass and Miles, the two loved each other even though they couldn’t admit it anymore.

At the beginning of their journey, he began sharing stories and secret feelings he held onto; he opened up to her like she were a diary even though she didn’t want to hear any of it. When he told her about the first time he was asked to overrun a camp, she didn't believe him. Every time he told a story that made Miles look like the bad guy, she would be infuriated with Monroe for lying. At first he snapped at her, saying Miles was no saint and they were a team for a reason. It was odd though after a while because his hostility decreased and he only said to ask Miles.

When she opened the door to the shed, there seemed to be nothing of his left. The ‘US Government’ took his weapons when they arrested him and he didn't seem to carry much else. She knelt down and saw a blanket near a makeshift sleeping area, upon closer examination she found it was the one they shared together on their journey to Willoughby. The fact that he had it caused a tugging pain in her heart.

He never touched her in the way Miles suggested the other day, so it wasn't a lie when they both denied it. They did however have to spend some nights holding each other. Despite her annoyance and hatred of his arms wrapped around her, it was the only way to stay warm on rainy nights. That’s when she found out big, bad, scary Monroe enjoyed cuddling. Eventually, only some nights turned into every night whether they had to or not. The excuse would always be that it was freezing, even if it was bearable weather.

Skinny fingers wrapped around the cloth and she threw it over her shoulders as a protective cape; to her comfort it still carried his scent. Charlie sat down where he slept and curled up, imagining him laying next to her like they had many times before. Her blue eyes burned as she thought about all the people she lost because of this man—no, not this man but a man that shared his face. The face of a soul she felt connected to hers.

He took responsibility for those deaths and all the other thousands of people that died in the name of the Monroe Republic. That's what this execution was for, Charlie should be happy he was gone for good. Unfortunately, traitorous memories kept surfacing with thoughts he confessed to her, and the actions he took after the army he never wanted left him behind.

"Charlotte, I want to try to make it up even though I know I never can. Please… not just to Miles and Rachel, but to you as well." She wanted to stop them—these silent tears betraying Danny, Maggie, her father—but Charlie herself could no longer be called innocent and the man she met in New Vegas was not the same as the President of the Monroe Republic.

The blanket tightened around her back as she tugged it more into her chest. Charlie imagined him still hanging onto her and telling her she had nothing to worry about because he was here and everything was okay. She knew he wasn't; he would never be, and she missed the chance to tell him how much she came to care for him.

"Why?" She sobbed quietly, “Y—you couldn't just be Monroe anymore, you had to dig your way into my heart and then leave without so much as a goodbye?" Her voice began to shake, her eyes were growing puffy and red from all the salt water escaping. She wiped them with the blanket and tried to muffle her crescendoing sobs.

"I could have come back here without you, you'd still be somewhere free from their grasp and alive and..." The thought of her still hating him passed through her mind. Yeah... she would still hate him if he had never come. She wouldn't have grown attached if he didn't follow her, save her, and open up to her. Worse, Charlie herself would have been dead.

Unbearably, it was all crashing out of her at once. She couldn’t save any of them: Nora, Danny, Maggie, her father. Even when she tried, none of this could be done alone and the only person she let in recently was Bass. Another memory invaded her mind, ripping at her heart as if she needed more suffering.

”I had a family once... after the blackout I mean." His eyes glistened, but Charlie by this time had become accustomed to his lying eyes. She brought hers up to his, and they were watering again of course. The story was told in the same melancholic way he told all stories, but this time she realized then that he actually carried all the burdens, sorrow, and murders with him. Sebastian Monroe did not care enough, instead he cared too much. Every wrong he'd ever done, or anything he thought he had a hand in; now he had those as weight on his shoulders. The man only needed the power stripped away to see with a settled mind and a second chance to live again. He was going to do better this time.

Charlie bit her lip, remembering the times he'd glance at her, or the times she would see him watching her out of the corner of his eye. Once when he saw she noticed, the corners of his mouth twitched up a little and he teased her, "You carry yourself knowing just how gorgeous you are. I bet you get a lot of guys calling, right?" He only laughed when he had to duck out of the way of an apple, "Don't waste perfectly good food, Charlotte."

His stupidly attractive face would never be erased, in the small amount of time they spent together she finally felt like she belonged somewhere: next to him. Forgiving him for the countless lives he stole wasn't easy, but neither was the world they knew now. In his own way, he thought he was doing a good service for the people. At the same time his lust for more power corrupted his good service, as well as the number of important people he lost. He'd talked about this too, he knew he was wrong in at least fifty percent of the decisions he made, and that was before Miles tried to murder him. After he couldn’t tell what was right or wrong anymore.

After a long time of locking up all her sorrow, there had to be a time she’d burst and tonight seemed to remind her that no one was safe in this world, not with these ‘government’ people running around. Charlie Matheson cried herself to sleep wrapped in the last traces of Sebastian Monroe. In the morning, her mother would shock them all.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is another one of those things that got deleted before, just adding it back. Did you think I'd forget to mention I suck at summaries? The title this time, I'm pretty proud of lol >:D


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